In God, There Is Hope

I will be the first to tell you I am not perfect. Quite far from it in fact. I have many faults, poor habits, and issues.
Lately I have found many of those "demons" creep their way to the surface. For me, my biggest struggle is my mental and emotional state of being.
Growing up, I've always been very connected with my emotions. I cry, I laugh, I get frustrated, I scare easily, and each of these things I do very visibly. As my divorce has gone on, I feel like my emotions have been increased a thousand fold..
I remember one night, as Shelby and I argued, my emotions spiked out of control. I got frustrated and

remember throwing my glasses across our living room. As they smashed into the wall and both lenses burst out I instantly went from one extreme to the next. Tears rolled down my face, and I begged with Shelby to help me understand what was happening..

I may never have a true understanding of what happened, and I may never need to. What I do know is that God will touch my heart when I need it the most. He'll remind me that when it feels like everything is crumbling on me, he's there holding up the walls.

 As Shelby and I have been separated, I've felt so much emptiness. I'm afraid of loneliness, and frightened to death of starting over. I don't know what's next for me, or where I am supposed to go from here.

However, I do know that God has a great plan for me. I know that God loves me so much. God loves us all in such a personal and intimate way. He feels what we feel. He knows what we think, and understands our desires and intentions. He wants what's best for us in every way. He desires for us to succeed in life, and return to him.

 My patriarchal blessing urges me to "Have no fear. Heavenly Father will stand near you..". How inspiring to me this short collection of words have become. God knows who I am. He knows what I am going through, and he knows that I will need people, including himself, to stand near me. He loves me. Should we not all take that message to heart. "Have no fear. Heavenly Father will stand near you."

I have found peace as I have turned more towards the Lord for help, and guidance.

"And when I think, that God, His Son not sparing;
Sent him to die, I scarce can take it in;
That on the Cross, my burden gladly bearing,...
Then sings my soul, My Savior God to thee,
How great Thou art, how great Thou art!"

I have a lot of life ahead of me. I have a lot of mistakes I will make, a lot more lessons I still need to learn. But God is a sure God. He never changes, nor does his love for me. How great he truly is, that he gladly bore my burdens so that I might be able to turn to him for peace. How perfect his love is for us. We are all deserving of it. You are enough for Him. I am enough for him. We just have to let ourselves recognize that.